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Monkey of Mayhem! The Mr. Potato Head Killer of Bwindi

Monkey of Mayhem! The Mr. Potato Head Killer of Bwindi

I thought this little baby chimp was so cute. That is, until he turned, and I realized he was capable not only of murdering humans and stealing their ears, but that he wears them Mr. Potato Head style, like a trophy. The sick bastard

Published February 28, 2024

Faces for Face Bills!

Faces for Face Bills

I wish I could say that this series of photographs marks the beginning of my foray into the world of hard-hitting photojournalism or humanitarian aid, but alas, no.

This cantankerous woman isn’t really upset at all, she’s full of shit...

Published February 17, 2024

Burn It For Buddha!

Burn it for Buddha!

Published February 15, 2024

Do you have something you no longer want or are just generally tired of looking at? Not to worry, just light it on fire and burn it! This seems to be the philosophy of everyone in Nepal...

So Thin!

So Thin!

Published February 14, 2024

This is little more than a thinly veiled excuse to share an artistic shot of Seth’s ass.

Or rather, an artistic excuse to share a shot of Seth’s ass, thinly veiled...

Let Them Eat Cake

Let Them Eat Cake

Published February 12, 2024

So many folks in AA would talk about how they felt the need to drink when they were either angry or when they were sad. Those both sound like the kind of plausible motivations any screenwriter might give to an alcoholic character, and they certainly make sense from a psychological and storytelling perspective, but I found it difficult to relate to these reasons on any sort of personal level...

So Close, Yet Safari: Lions Eat Ryans

So Close, Yet Safari: Lions Eat Ryans

Published February 8, 2024

I don’t think it’s that odd to admit I’ve vividly imagined my death in a wide variety of ways

James Bond: Mistaken, Not Turd

James Bond: Mistaken, Not Turd

Published February 6, 2024

This is one of those times when you must admit defeat and eventually just give up. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m currently BUILDING A HOUSE, so of course, the second I saw these urinals...

More or Less Nitpicking

More or Less Nitpicking

Published February 4, 2024

Even though I've been tempted, this is why I have never actually PULLED THE TRIGGER on getting a massage in a mall or an airport or a grocery store. Those massage chairs that they have are always just a little too publicly positioned for my taste, and I'm probably a little too farty for everyone else's...

The Slow-Mobile

The Slow-Mobile

Published January 28, 2024

When I was drinking, the problem with this activity was always that everyone would get shitfaced beforehand, but without any prior discussion about which ones of us would actually be driving the snowmobiles once we got to the activity site...

Our Irish Car Bomb

Our Irish Car Bomb

Published January 27, 2024

Before ever getting there, in the weeks leading up to our trip, I was starting to have honest-to-goodness nightmares about Ireland. Or rather, specifically nightmares about trying to drive our rental car on the "wrong" side of the road for the first time...

The Scarlet Sweater

The Scarlet Sweater

Published January 24, 2024

These sheep were originally in the exact center of the road, and the thought occurred to me that maybe we could use our car like a herding dog and sort of nudge them off to the side. Then we got closer and I saw that they were all bloody, so maybe someone already tried that and it didn't go so well...

Camel Cam

Camel Cam

Published January 21, 2024

You'd think the exoticness factor would score extra points here, but this is just a sand horse. It's twice as tall and twice as uncomfortable, so unless you ride a camel regularly, you are going to want off this thing pretty darn quick...

But How Happy to See Me Are You REALLY?

But How Happy to See Me Are You REALLY?

Published January 19, 2024

To Pee Or Not To Pee

To Pee or Not To Pee

Published January 30, 2024

Despite its low picture quality, this is one of my favorite photos. For many reasons, I find it preferable not to walk into a men’s room with my nice camera in hand...

Did You Mean Sign Language? Or Gang Signs?

Did You Mean Sign Language? Or Gang Signs?

Published January 16, 2024

I grew up in the 80’s, so NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC and the big, fuzzy, kitten-loving gorilla, Koko, was very much a part of my childhood. From a very early age, I accepted as fact that gorillas...

Why So Blue?

Why So Blue?

Published January 14, 2024

Both drunk and sober I have attempted to wrap a turban/shemagh around my head and I always end up with less than stellar results. The process usually involves a mirror and several YouTube Videos, until I eventually either give up or create something on my head that I could never wear out in public...

Hellllllooooooooo there! Welcome!

Hellllllooooooooo there! Welcome!

Published January 12, 2024

Mimi's Missionary Position

Mimi's Missionary Position

Published January 11, 2024

“If I would have known it was going to be all about animals every day, I would have never signed up for this safari!” This was shouted at me -- loudly -- during dinner, by one of my travel companions on Day 2 of our stay in Uganda....

I See You Baby... Shakin' That Glass

I See You Baby... Shakin' That Glass

Published January 10, 2024

Even if you just dabble in photography, it will probably come as no surprise to you that most of the money in a photographer's arsenal is spent on camera glass, not on cameras. Lenses are expensive and addictive, but they are also indispensable...

A Broom With A Poo

A Broom With A Poo

Published January 9, 2024

As you can see, this toilet had no bidet, hell, it didn't even have a commode (just a hole and a helpful broom), nevertheless, I want to stop here and talk about bidets for a second...

Suspension of Disbelief

Suspension of Disbelief

Published January 6, 2024

I could not believe how many suspension bridges were involved in the trek to Everest Base Camp. No one really talks much about this...

Camping

Camping

Published January 2, 2024

Uh oh, this is another real tricky one to rate, and not just because “camping” can mean such wildly different things to so many different people. Depending on where you are and who you ask...

Where Have All The Cowgirls Gone?

Where Have All The Cowgirls Gone?

Published December 31, 2023

I actually have no story to tell about this cantankerous woman who I met on set in WYOMING, but she makes a great placeholder for me to shove a bunch of cow photos that I don't really know what to do with...

Elephant Island: A Magical Picture

Elephant Island: A Magical Picture

Published December 30, 2023

"See that large outcropping of rock off in the distance? The Navajo call that the Monkey King. Not the medium sized outcropping to the left of it, but the large brown one, just there...."

If It's Blue, Use Your Shoe

If It's Blue, Use Your Shoe

Published December 27, 2023

Nothing is so dangerous or frightening as a viscous animal that happens to closely resemble your domestic pet...

Friends

Friends

Published December 26, 2023

I know, I know, "Friends" is such a cheesy title for this photo, but the more I was around these two, the more I got the impression that this elephant was more like a friend or a beloved pet to this young man than it was a work animal or beast of burden...

My Hippos Don't Lie

My Hippos Don't Lie

Published December 23, 2023

I feel like this hippo must be who taught my first boyfriend how to kiss, because I swear, this was his exact technique.

It’s uncanny, really...

The Licking Llamas

The Licking Llamas

Published December 21, 2023

These llamas loved to lick this dirt wall. It was unclear why, and the language barrier helped to make sure that none of the answers I got from the locals made any sense, or satisfactorily answered my question...

Shooting Janelle

Shooting Janelle

Published December 20, 2023

Janelle really tests the absolute limits of my abilities as a photographer. Not because she’s difficult to work with, or anything scandalous like that (just the opposite, actually), but because if I’m taking photos of Janelle, chances are, we aren’t anywhere normal...

Or Are These Just Striped and Mohawked Horses in Texas?

Or Are These Just Striped and Mohawked Horses in Texas?

Published December 19, 2023

These are either mohawked horses kicking up dust in West Texas, or zebras in Africa. Hard to tell...

Flush The Toilet Fruit

Flush The Toilet Fruit

Published December 18, 2023

Before getting too excited about landscapes you see in photographs, make sure that those plant materials make sense for your geographic area, or that they even make sense at all. I’m reminded of a magazine spread, where on the back of the toilet...

I Wish There Were Phewa People

I Wish There Were Phewa People

Published December 16, 2023

I have many friends that I can wholeheartedly enjoy, despite the fact that they hold wildly different political or religious beliefs. Even if I consider them to be silly, wrong, or dumb...

Man on Wall with Pokemon on Head

Man on Wall with Pokemon on Head

Published December 15, 2023

Anyone who's ever tried to hike uphill with a huge heavy SLR camera around their neck knows that with every belabored step, that camera is going to bang repeatedly right into your rib bone...

Grooms Get Ready For Their Big Day

Grooms Get Ready For Their Big Day

Published December 14, 2023

Everyone you meet will tell you how smart monkeys are, but you know what? Smart is relative, isn’t it? 

I watched this one baboon eat a plastic bag for about fifteen minutes, and this other one ate things he found in his friend’s butthole. So… 

Giraffe geriatrics

Giraffe Geriatrics

Published December 13, 2023

This giraffe’s coloring was darker and more saturated than all the others in the most delightful way, and I wondered if perhaps it was a different species or something...

Let's Get His Goat

Let's Get His Goat

Published December 12, 2023

A major thing that our American restrooms have going for them is consistency. This is not the case in much of the world. On many occasions, I will walk into the designated.... let's call it a "toilet area," and walk right back out...

American Express: Please Leave Home Without It

American Express: Please Leave Home Without It

Published December 11, 2023

Depending on where all you’ve been (or not been) in the world, this may make no sense to you. But I have found that the easiest way to make an entire store hate you— nay, sometimes even an entire marketplace— is to pull out your American Express card...

Five Situations Where You Should Really Stop and Hire a Landscape Designer

Five Situations Where You Should Really Stop and Hire a Landscape Designer

Published December 8, 2023

It should come has no surprise that uninspired, house-hugging landscape designs and unapologetically bare-minimum yard installations are two of my biggest pet peeves. However, there is something that bothers me even more, and it’s a travesty I find a thousand times more upsetting and depressing...

Funeral Slideshow

Funeral Slideshow

Published December 7, 2023

If I am dead and you guys are trying to decide which shirtless pics of me to include in my funeral slideshow, I'd like to offer up this one as a good clean option. It's nice and nature-y and not too provocative...

Kids Lean In To Better Understand Man Bun

Kids Lean In to Better Understand Man Bun

Published February 11, 2024

As the only other guy in that square trying to take photographs, I was initially thankful that this other hot photographer was distracting the local children so that I could continuing taking pictures...

Ella Phantsgerald

Ella Phantsgerald

Published December 30, 2023

I remember reading that we were going to “help bathe the elephants,” and I didn’t think too much about it at first. I think I just saw the word ELEPHANTS and was sold...

Happy Anniversary, Seth!

I Can't Get 9-11 Out Of My Head

Published November 30, 2023

Seth has informed me that today is our two-year anniversary.

Not that I forgot the date, I just came up with a different number of years...😬

Indiana Jones and the Case of the Missing X-Files

Indiana Jones and the Case of the Missing X-Files

Published November 28, 2023

I paid a man to play with his snake, and then after a while, asked hm to please get it off.

And yes, yes... Insert your own gay joke here...

Could Someone Just Give Me A Hand, Please?

Could Someone Just Lend Me A Hand, Please??

Published November 27, 2023

Everyone you meet will tell you how smart monkeys are, but you know what? Smart is relative, isn’t it...?

Shots Fired Downstream

Shots Fired Downstream

Published November 25, 2023

The quickest and easiest way to look like you know what you're doing in a raft, is to try and find out beforehand when and where along the river the company photographer will be...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Shooting Into The Wind

Published November 23, 2023

Some opportunities come along only once in a lifetime for a photographer, and for me, this was one of those times. My friend (and EBC TREKKING buddy) Kimby is in the center of this photograph, but the true star here is The Wind...

The Death of a Unicorn

Drunk Spelunk

Published recently

Today is a very monumental day for me, because today, for the first time in my life, I have opened up a social media account..

Little Girl in Yellow Dress Dances for Tihar

Little Girl in Yellow Dress Dances for Tihar

Published November 18, 2023

This is a little girl in the Everest Region of Nepal dancing in celebration of Tihar... but for now I've decided I want to talk instead about dancing, alcoholism, and aliens...

Irrational Geographic

Irrational Geographic

Published November 17, 2023

This photo is part of a larger conversation I frequently have with myself, and one that is too large to really approach here…

Lava Light

Lava Light

Published November 16, 2023

To give you an idea of how long ago I took this photo, I was still shooting with (and developing) actual FILM. I was studying photography in Italy...

Keyhole Means Me-Hole! Moroccan Door #54

Moroccan Door #54

Published November 14, 2023

A lot of people fall in love with an exotic place they are visiting and start dreaming up ways they could possibly move/live there. I, on the other hand, do the exact opposite: I start trying to figure out ways I can bring a piece of that place and culture home with me...

Ah, Me So Horny

Ah, Me So Horny

Published December 9, 2023

The punishment for poaching rhinos and other big game in South Africa comes with a hefty fine, and an even heftier prison sentence. Our guide told us this was not what detoured people from killing them though...

The (Great?) Pyramid Of Giza

The (Great?) Pyramid Of Giza

Published November 12, 2023

I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my life as a photographer, a traveler, and just a human being, would never have been complete without seeing the Egyptian Pyramids. However...

Skis? Please

Black Santa with Skis

Published November 9, 2023

In this particular instance, I feel like flying reindeer are still more believable than skis...

OMG How High Am I?

OMG, How High Are We?

Published February 10, 2024

No, not that kind of HIGH, lol, this isn't a photo of COLORADO... This is the Everest Region of Nepal!

Many of the treks that I attempt are at very HIGH ALTITUDES, and yet, it is often hard to communicate that elevation through my photography...

Lettuce Pray Tehran is Wrong. Also, Winter Is Coming! (We Think)

Lettuce Pray Tehran is Wrong. Also, Winter Is Coming!  (We Think)

Published November 6, 2023

If it hasn't happened to you already, trust me, it will: Your first time overseas, on at least one occasion, you will inadvertently find yourself speaking slowly and loudly in English, but with a horrifying caricature of the local accent...

Side Ball

Side Ball

Published November 4, 2023

Have you ever been hiking and gotten hot in what you were wearing? Did you then think that the perfect way to cool off would be to expose a small portion of your belly-white upper thigh along with a little bit of your underwear? No?

Me neither...

What A Doozy, This Jacuzzi

What A Doozy, This Jacuzzi

Published November 2, 2023

Sorry, I’m a little stressed with work right now and so all I can summon the strength to post is a photo of this sign I pass every day...  

A Game of Thrones

A Game of Thrones

Published November 1, 2023

While TREKKING THE EBC, rarely did any of the restroom facilities have any kind of apparatus that you could actually sit on. So, "A Game of Holes" might be the better title for this…

Happy Halloween!

Don't Look So Surprised

Published October 31, 2023

I can’t help it, every time I see someone who has had plastic surgery on their face, I think about a Stephen King book I read as a kid. There was a family that was so distraught about the death of their cat, that the dad took a risk and buried it in a spooky, magical, cemetery...

No Pride For These Lions

No Pride For These Lions

Published October 30, 2023

Shortly after booking my trip to meet and photograph the lowland gorillas of the misty mountains, as well as other African animals such as the beautiful lions you see here, the country of Uganda passed the most severe and punitive laws on homosexuality in the world, to include punishments such as life imprisonment and, in certain cases, the death sentence...

Some Shady Business

Some Shady Business

Published November 3, 2023

Owning A NURSERY, my parents are often asked about what they choose to plant in their own yard. How do you choose something, when you can ultimately choose anything?

Sorry, I Can't Tonight... I Have Plants

Sorry I Can't Tonight... I Have Plants

Published October 29, 2023

You can always tell which potted plants I neglected to run a drip irrigation hose to – those would be the dead ones...

LSD (Let's Scuba dive)

LSD (Let's Scuba Dive!)

Published October 26, 2023

Unlike almost every other activity that involves a boat, especially a boat in a tropical location, scuba diving is perhaps the only activity that I do not associate with alcohol and heavy drinking. Yes, this could be because I only started learning to scuba dive after I got sober, but I don’t think that’s it...

Glacier? But I Hardly Know Her! ...Do I?

Glacier? But I Hardly Know Her! ...Do I?

Published October 25, 2023

We are about to talk about my grandmother, Nanny, who I actually knew very, very, well; but first, this glacier? Yeah. I have no recollection of taking this photograph. I have no recollection of a lot of things, actually…

An Immodest Proposal

An Immodest Proposal 2

Published October 27, 2023

Every time I hear people talking about gender inequality, I get angry. I think to myself, c’mon people, it’s 2023 for Christ’s sake! Why are we still making women cover up their tits in public? Men don’t have to, they can go almost anywhere bare chested, so why not women?

Crippled And In A Caste

Crippled And In A Caste

Published October 24, 2023

Over the years, and on more than one occasion, I have found myself joining in on conversations where the despised and lingering Caste System is being considered, and usually admonished, when I probably should have kept my mouth shut...

Charmed, I'm Sure

Charmed, I'm Sure

Published November 22, 2023

When I first started traveling internationally, one of the first things I would do to prepare for my trip is read all the horror stories about what (and who) to beware of at any given destination. I do this much less now, but one of the stories that stuck with me from the early days was...

For A White Guy, Mine's Unusually Long

For a White Guy, Mine’s Unusually Long

Published October 19, 2023

Have you ever wanted to rub shoulders with two other men in a bizarre urination sandwich?

Me neither...

You've Come A Long Way, Baba

You've Come A Long Way, Baba

Published October 20, 2023

I'm not usually a very religious person, but when this holy Baba pulled out a cigarette and I realized I was going to be able to use the old Virginia Slim advertising slogan as a pun... Well, maybe there is A GOD after all...

Icy Hot

Icy Hot

Published October 18, 2023

I thought this guy was unbelievably hot, although I can't remember his name. Who am I kidding, I never knew his name. He was Icelandic, so I can only assume his name was like a hundred letters long, and half of those letters are probably Js...

The Mask of the Red Breath

The Mask of the Red Breath

Published October 17, 2023

"No Timmy, I don't think there are any more Mickey Mouse or Lone Ranger masks left in the bin, like the other children are wearing, sorry. But quickly now, go over and get the last one left, and remember -- this is why it's important to ALWAYS GET TO CLASS ON TIME...."

Ashley, She Will Be Missed

Ashley,  She Will Be Missed

Published October 16, 2023

This was from a beautiful series of photos I prepared for Ashley's closed-casket memorial service, after she was tragically hit by a train...

Kiss Me I'm... Complicated

Kiss Me, I'm... Complicated.

Published October 15, 2023

Of all the things that could turn out to be unexpectedly athletic, the most surprising has got to be how the Irish have turned the kissing of a lucky stone into a bizarrely gymnastic experience...

The Camera Crew Hikes Too

The Camera Crew Hikes Too

Published September 8, 2023

Any time you are looking at a photograph of someone doing something spectacular out in nature or watching a show about people ice fishing in Alaska, or hiking high in the mountains, or trekking across the dessert, just remember...

Kob Knobbing

Kob Knobbing

Published October 14, 2023

I refuse to even write anything about this, this is just low hanging fruit. (That’s what SHE said!)

Aww, hell, now I’m typing...

A Little Drunk in Your Trunk

A Little Drunk in Your Trunk

Published January 13, 2024

I know I talk about this a lot (like HERE AND HERE), but when you are in a foreign country and dealing with multiple language barriers, conversations can frequently spiral out of control and into an abyss of confusion...

My House

My House

Published October 12, 2023

I have been a residential landscape photographer my whole life, and I guess you could say I brought my work home with me...

Service With A Smile

Dilido Building CU

Published October 11, 2023

I assumed if replacing the batteries didn't work, you just threw it away and bought a new one...

If It's Blue, Use Your Shoe

If It's Blue, Use Your Shoe

Published October 10, 2023

Nothing is so dangerous or frightening as a viscous animal that happens to closely resemble your domestic pet. But I’m not going to belabor how deceptive these wild dogs actually are or talk about how I’ve watched them take down an animal quadruple their size...

Are You Studying Abroad, or Just Broadly Using the Word "Study?"

Are You Studying Abroad, or Just Broadly Using the Word "Study?"

Published January 7, 2024

Several years ago, a woman holding a clipboard knocked on my front door. People show up all the time wanting money for all kinds of causes and charities...

Name's Shaw. Rick Shaw.

Name's Shaw.  Rick Shaw.

Published October 8, 2023

Now play the music from “Shaft” and turn it up real loud. That way I can’t hear people saying that I’m being dumb and possibly offensive...

I Ain't Lion

I Ain't Lion

Published February 22, 2024

Before any of you pedants start crying out in delight, thinking you’ve caught my egregious blunder, let me clarify that I do not believe this to be a rare spotted lion in a tree. I know this is a leopard, calm down and read the story...

Glamping: A Dangerous Gateway Drug

Glamping: A Dangerous Gateway Drug

Published October 6, 2023

Unless I came up with it myself (like MOROXICO, which is brilliant…) then I usually have an aversion to most portmanteaus. I frequently find them silly or even cringeworthy, but it’s very possible this is just jealousy...

Help! They've Been in Cages for Ages!

Caged Lights 2

Published October 5, 2023

In the original BBC series "Absolutely Fabulous," Edina is asking Patsy about the importance of a powerful fashion mogul, and Patsy snaps  back with something amazing like, “Darling if she wanted to, she could raise hemlines so high, suddenly the whole world’s your gynecologist!” Hilarious...

The Subject is YOU!

The Subject is YOU!

Published October 3, 2023

Portrait photographers will often ask me what it’s like to film a set with no people, no subject.

And it took me many years to realize the right answer to this, it’s that there is a human subject there, it's just implied:

The subject is...

A Portrait of Mrs. Smokey Blazer

A Portrait of Mrs. Smokey Blazer

Published October 4, 2023

My brain has the irritating inability to remember people’s names. And that’s okay, because oftentimes when I’m telling a story, I am intentionally not wanting to use that person’s real name. Therefore, my tendency not to remember people’s proper names isn’t too much of an issue...

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

Published September 12, 2023

I have mentioned before that I get the most excited about visiting countries or places where the culture and lifestyle are completely different from my own. Conversely, I get disappointed when I go somewhere expecting to see another way of life, expecting to be submerged in exotic customs and sensational apparel, only to find there’s a McDonalds on every street corner and no one really wears fantastical garments on a day-to-day basis the way I was hoping they would....

Nanny's New Frame of Mind

Nanny's New Frame of Mind

Published September 13, 2023

Any time I do a more traditional portraiture shoot and end up with a batch of photos that look vaguely like they could have come with the frame, my mind starts turning and I start thinking about the world of stock photography...

The Rest of the Story

The Rest of the Story

Published September 14, 2023

How do you say, “I’m about to urinate on your floor” in Italian?

Tokens of Change

Tokens of Change

Published January 18, 2024

I will admit that this quintessential, long-exposure shot of the Dallas city skyline might be uninspired and dull. However, getting that shot is anything but...

Dive Pro, A Bait & Switch

Dive Pro, a Bait & Switch

Published September 16, 2023

Going to the beach is one of those activities (much like snorkeling) where the activity itself is relatively cheap and easy, but is only enjoyable if you first spend thousands and thousands of dollars to get somewhere really awesome and beautiful...

High Times: Your Own Personal Basket of Boredom

High Times: Your Own Personal Basket of Boredom

Published October 2, 2023

Above is a photo of my friend Margaux and I, as they deflated the hot air balloon behind us, that we'd just been trapped in for over 500 hours...

All My Dad's Horses

All My Dad's Horses

Published September 7, 2023

"Son, you can beat a dead horse but you can’t make him drink," my dad once told me. I was young, but not that young, and I suspected my dad might have twisted these up intentionally...

Still Getting High

Still Getting High

Published October 1, 2023

Paragliding is the closest you will ever come as a human being to flying like a bird (much more so than sky diving, which is more akin to falling), and it would get an SF rating of 10 and a time allotment of All Day, if that were possible. But it’s not. It’s often extremely expensive...

The Land of Elk and Money

The Land of Elk and Money

Published September 30, 2023

Telluride is a truly special place. I was in an overpriced little gift shop in Mountain Village and noticed a rather odd book. It was obviously self-published, with a homemade cover that looked like it had been cobbled together using Microsoft Word...

Super Seth

Super Seth

Published September 29, 2023

If you are ever wondering whether someone is boyfriend material or not, as early as possible, arrange a scenario where a group of you play the game “If you could be granted only one superpower...

Obsession: Smells Like Addiction

Obsession: Smells Like Addiction

Published September 28, 2023

My need to photograph certain things in this world sometimes reaches a fever pitch, a compulsion that some might say borders on obsession. People talk about making a BUCKET LIST, but when I tried that, it felt a lot like I was just putting all my current and future obsessions down on paper...

American Gods

Chef Blind Beggar Lndscp

Published January 31, 2024

Anyone who travels as much as I do will find that their life becomes a series of epiphanies, and not all of those revelations are warm and fuzzy. You will eventually come to the point where you have to wrap your head around the "Haves" and the "Have Nots" of this world and figure out a way that you can mentally come to terms with all the disturbing things you witness. I am talking here about poverty, and by extension, wealth.

Decorating with Jesus

Decorating with Jesus

Published December 24, 2023

Like many agnostics, I was originally raised Christian, and so despite myself, when gazing upon religious icons like this giant blue Shiva statue in Pokhara, I'll find myself instinctively thinking about how wild and weird it all is. I will fleetingly think how goofy and cartoonish their religious deities frequently are... how "other"... but then again, that "other" is often so beautifully exotic, that it immediately makes me want to decorate my house...

So, Is This Like a Hot Glue Gun Situation? Or...??

So, Is This Like a Hot Glue Gun Situation? Or...??

Published December 28, 2023

Let me explain, because there were a lot of mitigating circumstances and factors that led up to me accidentally breaking the door to their temple. The first reason isn't really all that complicated, it's just a cold hard fact, the temple isn't made very well. I think they know this...

The Dreaded Canoe

The Dreaded Canoe

Published August 10, 2023

The Dreaded Canoe is special, since this is where it all begins; and perhaps, so should you. Get ready to learn about a lot more than just canoeing, because I am going to start at the beginning. I am going to explain in detail what it is like to travel as an alcoholic and drug addict, and that, of course, means we are going to need to start at The Airport...

I Said Smile At The Plant, Dammit!

I Said Smile At The Plant, Dammit!

Published August 13, 2023

This is probably the number one direction that comes out of my mouth when I am shooting photos for Covington’s Nursery. I have probably said this hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Or rather, more accurately, I say a variation of...

For A White Guy, Mine's Unusually Long

For a White Guy, Mine’s Unusually Long

Published September 23, 2023

Have you ever wanted to rub shoulders with two other men in a bizarre urination sandwich?

Me neither.

But that’s what happened in this upsetting urinal corner where the troughs had been placed so absurdly close together, that...

To Pee, Or Not To Pee

To Pee or Not To Pee

Published September 22, 2023

Despite its low picture quality, this is one of my favorite photos. For many reasons, I find it preferable not to walk into a men’s room with my nice camera in hand, so this was sadly SHOT ON AN iPHONE. Turns out, my camera wouldn’t have turned any heads, because there were no heads to turn, not around these urinals, anyway...

Fraggle Rock

Fraggle Rock

Published August 17, 2023

No, that is not the name of the mountain behind me. Also, before anyone thinks I'm trying to ruin the majesty of the moment or disparage the memory of all the trekkers who’ve come before me -- and all that this pile of TIBETAN PRAYER FLAGS symbolizes -- trust me, I am not...

Aiguille du Midi Cable Car

Aiguille du Midi Cable Car

Published August 29, 2023

If you want to think twice about ever riding on any sort of gondola ever again in your entire life, then watch the scene from the FX show "Preacher," where they fully explore what it would be like if the Aiguille du Midi cable snapped, and killed everyone inside the cable car....

Morning Market

Morning Market

Published September 21, 2023

I must be in a rare mood, because instead of sharing a bunch of my thoughts and opinions (about the global marketplace and just commerce in genera, yawn), I just want to share some snapshots of what it was like to be in this little market in Thailand. I will, however, also share with you a few things that were running through my head at the time:

Possum Kingdom

Possum Kingdom

Published August 10, 2023

Before this multi-day canoeing excursion, I honestly never knew that Possum Kingdom was an actual, real, place. I did wonder why the Toadies song was called that though -- "Possum Kingdom" -- since to my knowledge, there are no possums in the song. Unless he's saying, "Do you wanna die?" to a possum...

Z Cavaricci

Z Cavaricci

Published September 20, 2023

I may travel the world because the differences intrigue me, but it’s the similarities that never cease to amaze me. However, unless you grew up in the 1980s, you couldn’t possibly guess what it is I want to talk about here. I am in Pokhara, Nepal, farther from home than I’ve ever been...

In Case of Murder, Break Glass

In Case of Murder, Break Glass

Published February 3, 2024

My entire family is very aware that my life involves an unusual amount of travel and adventure; however, based on my recent Christmas presents, it has become clear that they might be a little hazy on the specifics of just what exactly it is that I do.

For the past two years in a row, MY UNCLE has given me a police-issue taser gun...

Sandals Are For Sand, Duh!

Sandals are for SAND! Duh!

Published September 19, 2023

So this is when I had an epiphany about sandals. I never pieced together that they were called that because they are perfect for wearing in the sand. And I mean like, literally, they are about the only thing you can wear when trying to walk in the dunes. The little holes in your jogging shoes...

Janelle Uses Her Flask to Test My Abilities

Janelle Uses Her Flask to Test My Abilities

Published September 18, 2023

Janelle really tests the absolute limits of my abilities as a photographer. Not because she’s difficult to work with, or anything scandalous like that (just the opposite, actually), but because if I’m taking photos of Janelle, chances are, we aren’t anywhere normal.

The Licking Llamas

The Licking Llamas

Published September 17, 2023

These llamas loved to lick this dirt wall. It was unclear why, and the language barrier helped to make sure that none of the answers I got from the locals made any sense, or satisfactorily answered my question...

A Real Cliffhanger

A Real Cliffhanger

Published November 21, 2023

Just so we’re clear, this is not Photoshopped. This employs two other techniques I use much more frequently, intoxication and stupidity...

A Lesson: Snow = Good, Toothpaste Splatter = Bad

A Lesson: Snow = Good, Toothpaste Splatter = Bad

Published August 28, 2023

At the time, I'm sure there was probably some more glorified, artistic, and intellectual justification given as the purpose for this photoshoot, but ultimately, I'm pretty certain these were just for ASHLEY'S DATING PROFILE...

Sarri Red Indians, Shelia's Wearing Pink

Sarri Red Indians, Shelia's Wearing Pink

Published September 11, 2023

"Don't give me that shit, Shelia, I'm not going to argue with you right now. You know damn well that pink, while technically a shade of red, yes, is not actually red, like we agreed...

The Glory Toll in the Men's Restroom

The Glory Toll In The Men's Restroom

Published August 2, 2023

I have struggled with how to explain this, but what it boils down to, is that when you are in a foreign place, and you are constantly encountering new cultures and foreign customs, and everything is exciting and confusing because you do not speak their language, then quite frequently, you will find that you have little to no clue what is going on. Not with absolute certainty, at least...

The Subject Is You

The Subject is YOU!

Published August 7, 2023

Portrait photographers will often ask me what it’s like to film a set with no people, no subject.

And it took me many years to realize the right answer to this...

Bagging The Question

Bagging, The Question

Published August 6, 2023

Ah. It’s one of these calls. My mom has found a new gay sex term. She’s not judging me, I know that much, but who knows what the hell she’s been reading to come across a term that I don’t even know...

Friends Romans Countrymen

Friends Romans Countrymen

Published August 5, 2023

I took this photo at the Vatican, back when cameras still used actual film. This might seem like a foreign concept, but the photo is in black and white because that was the type of film I had loaded in my camera at the time...

Tile + Toilet = Tilelet?

Tile + Toilet = Tilelet?

Published August 4, 2023

A Fun Fact: "Tilelet" is also, interestingly enough, pretty close to how my SOUTHERN FATHER pronounces the word "toilet" in his deep Texas accent...

You Are So Lucky, Your Camera Takes Such Good Photographs!

You Are So Lucky, Your Camera Takes Such Good Photographs!

Published September 10, 2023

This is a dead body being ceremoniously burned alongside the Bagmati River in Kathmandu. But we will loop back around to that in a bit.

Bjork's New "Music"

Me in Traffic, Listening to Bjork's New "Music"

Published August 3, 2023

While it isn't exactly a "sport," per se (and it barely even qualifies as an activity), listening to Bjork's new "music" is definitely an adventure, and it is certainly very, very difficult. So I have decided to briefly discuss it here.

Hanging Out in LA

Gym Bat

Published September 5, 2023

This guy really puts the bat into acrobatics. If I tried that, I think we'd all quickly discover a stretch that required a stretcher...

Paper Thin Logic

Paper Thin Logic

Published September 6, 2023

I always get irritated when I show up to the store isle and the only paper towels left are the ones with tacky, pitiful, designs on them. They match nothing in my home...

Sign Language

Bongo Cat Sign

Published August 8, 2023

“Mommy? That’s the same amount we’re gonna offer as a reward for little Yip-Yap, right…?”

This is Terrible.

Strange Van of Children

Published August 1, 2023

I bet this little kid is going to be a lot more reluctant to go with his mom to any more photo shoots and talent searches after this...