The Land of Elk and Money

Telluride, Colorado

Telluride is a truly special place. I was in an overpriced little gift shop in Mountain Village and noticed a rather odd book. It was obviously self-published, with a homemade cover that looked like it had been cobbled together using Microsoft Word, some kind of harlequin romance-style artwork, and also a pixilated photograph of a frightened wild horse. This horse was supposedly running from a disproportionately sized helicopter that was hovering above it in a threatening way. The lengthy title was equally incomprehensible, and when the shopkeeper noticed me looking at it, she informed me that she carried that book because it was an important story that needed to be told and heard.

This woman was very excited now and told me the book was about how the BLM movement (Black Lives Matter, obviously) was rounding up all the wild horses on public land and illegally selling them for meat (and other nefarious purposes) to Mexico and elsewhere.

I said, “Hmmm. That doesn’t sound right.”

She said, “Exactly! It’s just awful!”

And I said, “No, I mean I must know even less than I thought I did about Black Lives Matter, because why would they want to sell wild horse meat to Mexico?”

She said “What are you talking about?”

And I said, “Well what are you talking about?!?”

And she said, “I’m talking about BLM— the BUREAU of LAND MANAGEMENT in San Juan County! What is Black Lives Matter?”

Ahhh. So BLM stands for something different here. I told you, Telluride is a truly special, magical, place.

We will let the other BLM be a surprise for her, assuming she ever learns about its existence at all.

However, I am glad to know that Black Lives Matter, as of this writing at least, does NOT involve HELICOPTER HUNTING and the illicit trafficking of wild horse meat to MEXICO.