If you are ever wondering whether someone is boyfriend material or not, as early as possible, arrange a scenario where a group of you play the game “If you could be granted only one superpower, what would it be?”

If the person you’ve set your sights on chooses invisibility, that is not a datable person.

Think it through. Nothing good comes of this superpower. A while back, after a guy (who I thought I was interested in dating) came up with invisibility as his superpower during a party game, I quickly realized I would literally rather pursue any other person at that party. To his credit, once he saw all the horrified reactions, he did at least try to backtrack and recant his choice, but at this point, it was too late. The invisible cat was out of the invisible bag, that this guy had very visible mental issues.

Fast forward several years. Very early on in our relationship, I made sure to quiz SETH about what his superpower of choice would be. He started talking about renewable energy and sustainable cattle farming and world hunger... and I'm not sure I ever quite understood what his superpower was exactly. (Unless it was solving world hunger? Which is admirable, but really more suitable for a “Genie Grants You Tree Wishes” scenario or the world’s most ambitious and impassioned pageant speech, but whatever…). It all sounded amazing, and it wasn’t creepy like invisibility, so….

Here we are, some time later, HIKING A 14ER together!

What is invisible in this photo, however, is the altitude, our headaches, and the fact that we both felt like we might pass out. For me, I attribute some of this to my history as a smoker. For Seth, I’m not sure what the cause of his discomfort was, unless it was, yet again, his relentless VEGETARIANISM — an irritating and seemingly terminal condition that I identity to be the culprit behind most of our problems.

Kidding, of course. Seth's gonna CATCH ME A FISH.