This is an excerpt from a larger list, where I give various activities a Sober Fun rating of 1-10. Entries from this list are scattered throughout my website, or you can find that complete list HERE.

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SNOWMOBILING: 7

When I was drinking, the problem with this activity was always that everyone would get shitfaced beforehand, but without any prior discussion about which ones of us would actually be driving the snowmobiles once we got to the activity site. Every single person just assumed that of course they would be riding on the back of one, while someone else more sober manned the steering wheel and the gas in the front. But, um, well... when everyone assumes this, it leaves you with a huge group of ready and willing passengers, but no one left to safely drive the vehicles.

This phenomenon happened on multiple occasions. We would never dream of cancelling because of something so silly as a little drunk driving... however, these are alcoholics we are talking about here, many of which have probably crashed cars or, at the very least, gotten a DWI at some point. So if you are picturing a raucous drunken time of hooting and speeding through the forest, stop. You're thinking of Heavy Drinkers, not alcoholics. When you've been arrested as many times as we have, and been in just as many wrecks, instead what you get is an abundance of caution.

After forcing the least drunk members of your group to reluctantly drive, you get a procession of overly cautious snowmobiles creeping slowly through the trees in a line, as if they are all in a big snowy school zone. What fun! Our group guide was super confused and kept encouraging us to go faster - probably because he was starting to realize we'd never make it to the half-way point and back in the allotted amount of time, if we all kept moving at this bizarre, languishing pace. So snowmobiling is one activity that I will heartily claim becomes much more fun when sober, when you can really open up with reckless abandon and squeeze that gas handle like God intended.

Still, it gets both old and cold relatively quickly. Plus, just a couple of hours of snowmobiling works out to roughly the same amount of money as a full DAY of skiing, and skiing is loads more fun. However, this is a pleasant enough activity to do with people in your group who can't or won't ski, and because of that, I give it a Sober Fun rating of 7.

Personally, a couple hours in the afternoon is quite enough snowmobiling in my opinion, and that way, you can still hit the SKI SLOPES that morning!

Tip: Regardless of how many hours you decide to go with, check before you book to make sure that you've found an outfitter that takes you on a long journey through the forest, not one that takes you to a plot of land with a circular track in the snow. This = sadness. If this is the case, they don't usually advertise it as such, or tell you how much it sucks, why would they? So you need to ask up front. Otherwise, you'll get there, they'll put you on the snowmobiles, and then just allow you to go round and round in a large circle for however long you booked, or until you get bored/nauseous and decide to call it quits. Even the drunkest person among you will recognize that this blows, so if this is the only type you have access to, I say skip it, and it gets bumped to a lowly SF rating of just 3.

Oh my god, I can smell alcohol just looking at this photograph. I can't believe they let me drive that thing. And what's wrong with my toboggan? Geez, it's all but covering one of my eyes.