I know, I know, "Friends" is such a cheesy title for this photo, but the more I was around these two, the more I got the impression that this elephant was more like a friend or a beloved pet to this young man than it was a work animal or beast of burden.

At one point, I swear they even had an argument.

The main thing that surprised me about the elephants in Thailand were how much smaller they were than the AFRICAN ELEPHANTS I had photographed years earlier. But duh -- of course there would be different breeds of elephants, just like anything else, I'd just never thought too much about it before.

Regardless of breed, one thing that definitely never changes about these creatures is that they are constantly hungry, constantly eating. I feel like we are kindred spirits in that regard, as anyone who has ever traveled with me often accuses me of the same thing.

I am reminded of the origin story of the "white elephant," a term we use in the West to refer to a gift we receive but do not want. We re-gift these items to friends and family at White Elephant Parties, a tradition I love wholeheartedly, mainly because I simply adore bizarre, useless, things. Some of my most prized possessions have come from such parties!

Originally though, the unwanted gift that was being passed back and forth was, quite literally, a big white elephant. Due to the rarity of an all-white elephant, they were technically considered priceless, but therein lied the rub: it was such an "honor" to receive one, that you couldn't dare be seen putting it to work, or riding it, or doing much of anything at all with it, other than just housing it and feeding it. They were useless, expensive to maintain, and a giant HASSLE. It was the gift that no one wanted, and so it soon became an underhanded way for ancient rulers to passively communicate their hatred of a supposed ally. On the public face of things, they could appear to be giving a fellow ruler a gift of prestige and honor; but everyone really knew that the last thing anyone wanted was an enormous, ravenous, costly, creature that you could do nothing with. Rulers couldn't get wait to get rid of the ridiculous thing fast enough, and the only way to do that without being offensive was to give it to someone else.

I love the idea of a particularly heinous ruler, that everyone unanimously hates, just constantly getting elephants sent to him on a daily basis.

"Honey, darling, my king, we received more of these albino elephants today. Your cousin sent us one, the king of Siam sent two... Some of the ones we received last week turned out to just be regular elephants in white paint, and that especially fiesty one? Yeah. That's just a hippopotamus. So..... do you think you're gonna stop being a prick anytime soon, would you say? Maybe think about it, my love, we're up to our elbows in elephant shit, here..."

I also love that the only acceptable, "inoffensive" thing to do, was to burden someone else with this terrible gift. And it is exactly what we continue to do today, albeit with less malice, at our parties. Not only do I love going to White Elephant Parties to receive awful gifts, I think I like giving them even more. However, I always want my offering to be insanely terrible and clever, and so for me, the true "white elephant" gift is something that is unwanted, but technically useful. I hate a utilitarian thing that takes up space, but is in no way preposterous enough to be amusing. For me, it is the coffee tumbler.

Since GETTING SOBER, I drink an inordinate (unhealthy?) amount of coffee, and so in recent years, everyone and their dog has at some point given me a tumbler cup. I don't use them, I don't want them, and yet I own an entire cabinet full them. Seriously, they all live out in their own special cabinet behind my house in the shed with the lawn mower. I keep thinking maybe I could make something out of them, but other than just a little fort, everything I came up with involves smelting, which I don't know how to do.

But why should I have to do anything with them? I think everyone who gave me a tumbler should have to come back and help me turn them into something desirable, or at least amusingly terrible! Those who dealt it, smelt it, I say!

And yes, all of this was just an overlong setup for that joke. You're welcome.

(But seriously, no more tumblers, you guys).

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Read about why I ended up bathing an elephant HERE!