In the original BBC series "Absolutely Fabulous," Edina is asking Patsy about the importance of a powerful fashion mogul, and Patsy snaps  back with something amazing like, “Darling if she wanted to, she could raise hemlines so high, suddenly the whole world’s your gynecologist!” Hilarious. And then in The Devil Wears Prada, the illustrious puppeteer of the fashion industry is obviously the Meryl Streep Character. So what I want to know is— who is “that person” in the light world? You heard me, who is the Meryl Streep of home lighting fixtures? (I’m currently building a house , so give me a break, this is the world I’m in right now!)

Who is the all-powerful lighting fixture mogul that snapped their fingers one day and decided that all our lights needed to be in these weird, confining metal cages? Were the lights too wild before? I hate it, and we’ve been dealing with it for well over a decade at this point.

Can they come out now? Haven’t they done their time?  Can whoever snapped their fingers snap them back again please, and stop all of this?

Sorry if you just remodeled your house recently and were talked into incarcerating all your lights in these weird prismatic light cages, but this has gone on long enough, and I can’t be the only person who feels this way! Who’s with me?!!!!! Free. The. Lights! FREE! THE! LIGHTS!  FREE! THE! LIGHTS!  ****************************

I was here to visit them in their cages around 7:00 a.m., but they were still sleeping. I learned from a Home Depot employee that (unlike REAL JAIL) these lights do get to be turned off for certain portions of the day. In fact, very similar to real jail, they are on a schedule that is out of their control and — as  mandated by corporate headquarters— they are not allowed to be turned on each day until 9:00 a.m.

I forgot to ask what their corporate bed time was each night.

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