First, lets all agree that this is a fantastic example of a manmade waterfall in a residential landscape bed:

Is it the one I grew up with all my life? Yes. But that's beside the point.

When you have photographed as many residential landscapes as I have, you start to accumulate a list of PET PEEVES. Many of these are highly specific, and probably wouldn’t bother the average person one bit, but when you see them enough times, it becomes maddening. For me, it’s waterfalls.

Waterfalls are one of nature’s most phenomenal and breathtaking natural creations, and yet what I see in many people’s yards is just bizarre. Why are we stacking the rocks up in strange little pyramidal piles? Stop it. Have you ever actually seen a waterfall before? In nature? I suspect that many people in Dallas haven’t, because that’s not what they look like.

While I was driving through the Yukon Territory from Canada to Alaska, I saw more waterfalls than you could ever possibly imagine, and I saw them in all different shapes, sizes, and configurations. My drive was almost like taking a Masters Course on waterfalls— what they truly look like when formed in nature. They are always integrated into the surrounding landscape and are certainly never stacked up like a cairn or pile of rubble.

Above: Forgive Dallasites their trespasses, for they know not what they do! This enormous Coors Light billboard might be their only frame of reference for what a waterfall is supposed to look like.

It’s no mystery why many contractors end up committing this common faux pas— it’s because the one thing they think they know about waterfalls is that in order to achieve the “falling” part, they need to somehow first achieve some degree of height. Hence the strange, unnatural rock piles.

Add in another common misstep (which is often the result of budgetary constraints) of using woefully undersized rocks and pebbles to achieve something that really requires enormous, heavy, oversized boulders to look right, and you end up with something that wouldn’t fool a fish.

And then sometimes, even with money to spare, the budget is spent in the odd, misguided, pursuit of mortaring all the rocks together— I’m not even sure what this is supposed to be; because it certainly didn’t come from nature. I understand it adds stability and protection to the waterfall, but now what have you created? Mortaring the rocks together in a visible way reminds me of the plastic couch covers that were popular in the 1950s. Is your couch protected from stains, yes, but now it is also hideous, and a misery to sit on, so what have you really achieved?

Hear this and then I’ll get off my soapbox— if you are going to spend the money on a natural-looking water feature in your backyard, first spend the time researching what natural waterfalls actually look like, and then, be sure to have a conversation with your landscape designer to see if you both have the same definition of the word "natural."

As common as they have become, I know for a fact that these strange gurgling piles of stony detritus are avoidable, and far from your only option.

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Read about another great residential waterfall HERE!

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Unrelated, I bathe an elephant HERE!

Talk about some water making a very small and pitiful impact... I'm not even sure that elephant knew we were there.