I take back everything I said previously ABOUT BIDETS, because this toilet in Japan was a delight. The enema water, I mean bidet water, was even warm! The toilet obviously does about 500% more things than my toilets do back home, but exactly what those things were...that is still unclear. I'm pretty sure the picture for the "shower" option is a butt, yet I never was able to determine how the spray was any different from what the "bidet" option did. The woman pictured seems to be having the time of her life, her hair is even blown back by all the excitement. She reminds me of those old cartoons where a character inadvertently strikes oil, and then rides the top of the oil geyser; but I was never able to make anything remotely like that ever happen, no matter how much I adjusted the intensity of the spray strength.

The "sound" option was also disappointing. I was hoping that it offered an array of polite little Japanese tooting sounds, that a person could choose from, to cover up the sound of their big American noises, but that wasn't what it was. It just made a sort of twinkling sound, like something magical was happening.

I might add here that it all didn't really matter, since I had already used the restroom in another (less lovely) part of the airport, and I didn't actually have to go to the bathroom at this juncture. I was just in here entertaining myself because I had a really long layover, access to the fancy lounge, and nothing else to do.

However, one thing I distinctly remember noticing was absent in this unusual restroom, was that unlike the Lukla Airport in Nepal, there was NO GOAT.