Maybe all of you are already aware of this, but in the years while I was off drinking, doing drugs, and not paying attention, it would appear that something truly insane has happened to the History Channel. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is the new philosophy behind their current lineup of shows just “Anything but history"?

Granted, I only see it on the televisions at the gym with the sound turned down, but as far as I can tell, the only common denominator here is that none of their programs have anything whatsoever to do with history. Sometimes I’ll even see something vaguely historical, like a shot of the Great Pyramids or Machu Picchu, and I’ll think, “Okay. Here we go…”

But then within seconds it’s followed by shots of Jesus, aliens, or other supernatural creatures, and they’re talking about the possible involvement of magic, and interviewing psychics and clairvoyants. Other days, it’s about swamp alligators and people pawning things for money. Holy f*ck, what is all of this?

To be clear, I have no problem with this, whatever this is—I like pawn shops and paranormal activity just as much as the next guy— but if this is the type of programming they’ve settled on, maybe the History Channel could find a new brand identity and release the use of the name “History Channel” to a more appropriate steward of the title? You know, a channel that had at least one show that was actually about historical things?

Much to my dismay, the gym near me never has on any kind of Travel Channel— or maybe they do and I just know it? Is it safe to assume any channel with Travel in the name would probably now just feature shows about people in quarantine or inmates in prison?

If you're a fan of non-historical things, read here about ME BUYING A CAT AND MARIA BUYING A SPHINX. Honestly, this story probably qualifies as history more so than anything currently airing on the History Channel.