This is an excerpt from a larger list, where I give various activities a Sober Fun rating of 1-10. Entries from this list are scattered throughout my website, or you can find that complete list HERE.

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CAVE EXPLORATION: 8

I often wonder how much easier some of the adventurous things I've done might have been if I hadn't been drinking. For instance, in this case, how much easier might it have been to navigate the narrow turns and tight crevices of a cave if I wasn't trying to attempt the whole journey with a clanking pack of liquor bottles strapped to my back? If you thought my pack contained useful things like, I don't know, rope? Then think again, this photo was from 2017, so it's undoubtedly filled with several full-sized glass liquor bottles. That's just how I traveled at this particular juncture in my life. And let me tell you, caves echo and are very unforgiving. I might have thought I was being discreet, but it probably sounded to everyone else in that cave like there was some idiot trying to carry an enormous glass chandelier through the tunnels.

Like so many activities, I was uncertain whether I would still find crawling through dark, dank caves to be a fun experience once I stopped drinking. Or, with a clear head, would I find it claustrophobic and terrifying, like so many people do?

The answer is perhaps a combination of both. It is both fun and scary all at once. My friend KIMBY and I went (soberly) through several caves in Pokhara, Nepal. I guess we figured that would be a nice way to relax after our TWO-WEEK TREK through the Himalayas? Anyways, I was excited to learn that I still find it insanely exhilarating! One of the major, overarching, themes that I encourage you to gather from all my writings is that, for better or for worse, oftentimes when you are in a country other than America, you will find that the rules and restrictions are much more... let's say, lenient. Natural wonders and attractions that would be off-limits to the public here in America (or so thoroughly diluted and safeguarded as to barely retain any of the original danger and appeal) will be fully accessible in foreign countries.

"If you pay us money, sure, you can go down into that unlit cave and see the...um... well, just see what happens. You won't be able to actually see-see anything, of course, because there are no lights whatsoever and it's pitch black and very slippery, but for another bit of money, would you like to maybe buy a flashlight?"

I recommend buying the flashlight. Always buy the proverbial flashlight!

I think cave exploration is a great activity for any sober person. You will learn a lot about yourself. If you are like me, you will likely learn that you are not as skinny as you thought you were. You haven't lived until you've made an entire line of people behind you back up through a tunnel because you were unable to fit through a narrow opening in a rock. It's (mostly only) in caves that I find myself wishing that I had whiskers, like a cat, so that I could make good/better spatial decisions.

Anyways, provided you have a decent plan of how you are going to eventually eat lunch, then I give cave exploration a high Sober Fun rating of 8. If I can do it with a whole pack full of liquor bottles on my back, then I suspect you can do it with a sandwich and some chips. However, be warned, cave exploration is a bit like SCUBA DIVING in the sense that it is not for everyone. Invariably, some people will immediately realize it is not for them and want the f*ck out of there. They will become claustrophobic and panicky and it is best not to try and talk anyone in to doing this with you if they have presented any indication that they detest DARK CRAMPED SPACES.