The New Lackluster Lake Luster

Lake Texoma, Texas

This is an excerpt from a larger list, where I give various activities a Sober Fun rating of 1-10. Entries from this list are scattered throughout my website, or you can find that complete list HERE.

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A DAY ON THE LAKE IN A BOAT, No Activity Planned: 3

Ooooooooh, this is a tricky one. Are the people you are going with planning on drinking? Because if so, regardless of how long they told you that you would be out on the lake, you are going to be on that boat until their coolers run dry. So pay attention to how much alcohol they are loading onto your watercraft at the start of the day, that's how long you'll be on that boat. What a nightmare, I give this a Sober Fun Rating of 3.

On second thought, I'd even go so far as to say it's WORSE than a bar, because at least you can choose to leave a bar on your own accord. On a boat, there's the added downside of you being completely trapped until the group collectively decides they're ready to return to shore. And sometimes, even if they run out of booze, someone will know of a "special marina" or someplace, where everyone can get more, and now you are basically trapped until the sun goes down.

And to accommodate all the beer, of course, there was only room left in the cooler for the smallest amount of food, so you will probably also be starving. But no one else will care, they're all drunk, and have all the beer calories fueling them up. They are happy and full and totally confused why you keep bitching about being hungry, despite the fact that y'all haven't eaten since breakfast. This is essentially a floating bar, so unless you are very confident in your sobriety, I'd say to skip to this one altogether. Sorry.

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But wait! If there is an activity planned, that CHANGES EVERYTHING!