These are perfect and ooh! I know JUST WHAT TO SERVE THEM WITH!

Seriously though, from intimate second dates to having your discerning boss over for dinner, nothing days “keep your cell phone handy” quite like this versatile platter of dead baby goat heads.

I know this is coming a tad out of left field here, but when I was at my worst and smoking massive amounts of crack cocaine each day, my heart would sometimes start beating so fast that it felt like it was going to explode at any second, and burst inside my chest. I cannot tell you how many times I had the numbers 9 and 1 pre-dialed on my phone, just waiting for that final 1 to be pressed, should I need an ambulance or medial attention. I would keep the phone clutched tightly in my hand at all times, so that at any moment, should things turn sour, I could press the final digit before going into convulsions or whatnot.

Anyway, a phone clutched tightly in my nervous, sweaty hand (with a pre-dialed 9 and 1) is also how I think I would approach any dinner party where the host started bringing out rotting baby goat heads.

I’m just saying…