"So is that Mount Everest?"

"Still no, Ryan."

I know I must have sounded like a kid in a car, constantly asking "Are we there yet?", but in my defense, we kept rounding corners to find mountain peaks that were so mind-blowingly awesome, in both scale and majesty, that I couldn't help myself. They were somehow even more epic than the peaks I'd photographed in the ALPS OF FRANCE or Italy (and those were pretty darn awesome!) Each peak we encountered was somehow always more breathtaking than the last, and I was filled with such open-mouthed wonderment every time, that I find myself once again asking our guide, Ram, if it was Mount Everest.

Each time I asked, I think I knew deep down that it probably wasn't. The timeline didn't add up, we had several more days before we were supposed to see Mount Everest, and our guide would basically tell me as much. He'd also tell me the name of the peak that I was presently witnessing and photographing, but without seeing it written down, a name of nonsensical noises is not something that stays in my brain very long.

In my mind, I imagined seeing Mount Everest in person would be the ultimate, the mountain equivalent of meeting Jesus Christ or Madonna. As the tallest mountain in the world, it has the reputation of being the biggest and the baddest, right? So I assumed it would also be the coolest mountain visually as well. And yet...

They say you should never meet your idols, but in the case of Mount Everest, it wasn't the mountain itself that was disappointing necessarily, it was that our visual access to it was often impeded. If I had done a little more research, or looked at a few more photographs beforehand, I could have tempered my expectations, but honestly, I didn't want to inundate myself with photos of something I was soon about to see in person.

Still, with as iconic as this mountain is, I probably should have asked myself why you almost never see a clean, clear, shot of it from the Nepal side. If there was one to be had, we would likely all have that image emblazoned on our brains. Was I so cocky to think that all these other photographers, spanning the decades, had just failed to position themselves correctly, and I was going to hike up there to Kala Patthar and somehow (in one afternoon) discover the perfect, unobscured, vantage point? One that all these other photographers had missed?

Maybe! You never know! .... but spoiler alert, I didn't. This is not for lack of trying, or because this legendary mountain proved disappointing, it is because Mount Everest is one peak nestled among many, and due to the relative distance of the other peaks, when viewed from many angles, the other peaks surrounding it are more prominent, and deceptively appear to be taller. This can be confusing and a tad underwhelming for someone who had expectations of Mount Everest being the clear winner, a jagged badass looming over all the rest. In fact, when pointing it out, our guide kept having to repeatedly steer my head and point my finger away from all the peaks I wanted it to be, and over to the one it actually was.

"Hold on, Ram, the smaller one there?" I'd say. "The one kind of bubbling up on the side of the bigger one? Nahhhh, that can't be Mount Everest... Can it?!?"

It could be and it was, and although he was reluctant to use words like "smaller," probably because he knew it to be untrue, sometimes for the sake of getting me to locate it more quickly each time we did this, our guide, Ram, eventual started employing the word "smaller" as well.

"Yes, Ryan, Mount Everest is the "smaller" one there," Ram would say, pointing to it. "See it there? It's at an angle, in between those two other peaks."

I was so incredulous that even while exhausted and oxygen-deprived, I made the effort to put down my camera and take out my phone. I snapped a quick photo so that I could draw a red arrow on it.

"Really, Ram? Look. This unassuming one right here? This is Everest?"

"Yes." Ram confirmed it, this is Mount Everest:

This wasn't meeting Jesus and being disappointed. This was meeting Jesus and finding that all his louder, taller, apostles were so tightly crowded around Him, that it was impossible to see or hear what He had to say. Or like if Madonna's backup dancers got it in their heads to upstage her, and just danced directly in front of her the whole time.

"Is that her there, in the middle?" I might keep asking throughout her performance.

"No, Ryan, Madonna's the tiny lady in the back, behind that wall of sweaty, shirtless, gay men. See, just there you can almost see the very tip of her platinum blonde ponytail! I swear she also has the coolest, pointiest, breasts in all the land, if only you could see them..."

Throughout our hike, Ram would likewise try to describe to us "really cool things" that were happening, if only we could see them. "Is this how it starts?" I recall wondering. "Is this how people start thinking about going all the way to the top, of actually climbing Everest? Do they start thinking about summiting it all because they are irritated at the mediocre view, and realize that climbing further and further up might be the only way to get a better angle? A better photo?

After traveling with Ram for almost two weeks, I had gotten in the habit of repeating what he said back to him. Just to make sure I was understanding him correctly. There was a considerable language barrier between us and our guide (that you can read about in greater detail HERE), plus, he had a habit of frequently referring to himself in third person. This little idiosyncrasy lead to confusion on more than one occasion.

He’d be describing to us something hypothetical, that supposedly occurred on the other side of a mountain (or some other view-obstructing edifice) when I’d realize we might not be talking about the same thing. I’d be following along, thinking I got it— yep, on just the other side of this mountain there is something very special and delicious, that all the animals love to graze on, got it. Yo comprendo!

“Yes, but not very often,” Ram says, “since it is very overpriced. Only for special occasions.”

Okay, nope, wait, no comprendo, I don’t got it, that doesn’t make any sense. Why would the animals care about that? Then I’d remember his name is Ram, we aren’t talking about animals at all, he is telling us about some delicious but expensive thing that he, Ram, likes to eat. And I guess it is served somewhere behind that mountain. When he’d start referring to himself in third person, as "Ram," regardless of how many times it happened, it never failed to confuse me. Luckily, we didn’t see too many rams on the EBC, and I’m just grateful that his name wasn’t Yak or BURNING TRASH because then we would have been in some real trouble.

With these frequent misunderstandings, maybe you can see why I kept feeling the need to have him reiterate which mountain was Everest. The view of Mount Everest simply wasn’t what I was expecting. Therefore, I just wanted to be confident we weren’t having another miscommunication, similar to me picturing a herd of rams hiding behind a mountain, holding delicious - but pricey - pastries in their hoofs. (Only on special occasions, though, due to their prohibitive cost...)

I was finding Everest’s peak consistently difficult to photograph, and I wanted to make 100% sure that we weren’t talking about two different things. Especially when he kept repeatedly pointing at a mountain peak that was so much less inspiring and photogenic than so many others we’d passed by on the way up.

One such inspiring, badass, totally epic mountain is the one you see in the photo above. I know it’s probably silly to think about such things, or to have a favorite, but sorry, this is mine. This is my Favorite Mountain! That’s even how think of it in my head - My Favorite Mountain in the World. Also, this mountain peak is a solo act, no apostles obstructing the view or backup dancers blocking its glorious points.

Only all that amazing fog, a thick magical mist that I like to imagine hides so many untold secrets. Hiding just behind it, is there maybe a family of nefarious ogres? Evil sorcerers casting spells? Perhaps a herd of friendly unicorn even!

Or maybe it’s something much simpler, maybe it’s just a bunch of common, everyday, rams. Yep, just a simple family of rams, celebrating a special occasion with an impressive assortment of delicious, overpriced, pastries.

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Can't get enough LANGUAGE BARRIERS and MISUNDERSTANDINGS? Then you'll probably like THIS STORY!